My first day off Paxil

SO. No more Paxil. 

I woke up at 2:30am and took another Xanax. I ate a tiny piece of bread with it and laid back down. I ended up waking up around 5 am, ecstatic that I actually went back to sleep. I dazed out again a little and we finally got out of bed at 7:30am. I felt, okay. Better, but not great. 

I poured a bowl of cereal and ate a couple bits, but started to feel a little anxious. Instead of taking another Xanax, I decided to wait it out. Tyler took the day off to spend with me, since I didn't know how coming off Paxil would be. He came with me to my first therapy appt. I munched on cereal and worked through the nausea. The therapy went well. It was just an intake, so basically paperwork the entire time. She diagnosed me with Panic Disorder, and wants to see me twice a week. She suggested I start taking Prozac and Melatonin instead of Paxil and Ambien. I called my regular doctor to schedule an appt, but still (it's 8pm now) haven't heard back. We went home quickly and my husband made me a shake (banana, blueberries,peach,plum, avocado,yogurt,spinach,water) to try to get something in me. I drank about 24 oz of it, and did not get sick:)

We went and talked to my supervisor, who was very understanding. The plan is I will work 2 hours a day this week, and possibly start half days next week. I've already called all my clients and let them know if may be two more weeks before I see them. It made me feel better leaving work, knowing that it is all taken care of. 

We came home and I laid down to try and sleep while watching some Harry Potter. I did fall asleep for 20 minutes or so, but decided not to fight it and sat up. I got on my work lap top to work and started to get hungry. I heated up some lasagna, and actually ate half of it! I was so proud of myself. I took a half of Xanax and completed some work emails. My mom got home to check on me, and Tyler and I decided to go on a walk. 

We went to a local trail park and walked/climbed around with my puppy Duke. We were there for about 45 minutes and I felt pretty good. My brain still feels like it's in a haze though, weird I know. We got home and I was determined to work my body a little more. I did 45 minutes of XStretch on P90X! I felt panicky several times during it, but kept going. 

When I got done I ate a huge bowl of snap peas, and am now eating some popcorn. I feel a little anxious, but nothing too unbearable. I'm watching Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix while typing this now. Kind of feeling nervous about sleeping tonight. BUT I know, I can do this. I can make it through the negative thoughts and panic attacks. I have to. Once I make it through this, imagine how strong of a person I will be :)