Thanks for the advice...

SO! My posting once a week isn't going to hot, but I do think about doing it often. But by the time I sit to down to do it... I fall asleep. So here we are!

I am officially over 11 weeks along now!! Baby is doing very well, and I'm measuring closer to 12 weeks, whatever that means! Hopefully it does mean I'll give birth to a small adult.

Tyler and I had the privilege of meeting with our midwife for the first time on 6/17. The appointment went very well. So well, in fact, we have officially decided to do a home birth with her assistance. She will also have a certified midwife as her assistant, so we are in completely good hands. People absolutely think we are crazy for considering doing a home birth. But Tyler and I have been considering this for the past two years. We have researched pros and cons and everything we could. Here's my reasoning: I am the ultimate introvert. I really enjoy the home space I've created, and feel so calm at my home (and in control). I do not like taking medication, despite my past brush with anxiety and depression. I have taking medication while sick, and don't take anything for my period pain. I just don't like the way it makes me feel. Hospital births can escalate so quickly with medical interventions, and I don't want that to be an option.

That all being said, there is a small chance we will have to do a hospital birth if any serious complications arise. Tyler and I are very aware of this. Our OBGYN is our back up, and we will pre-register at the hospital just in case. :)  We will be prepared for whatever will happen.

So that leads me to the 'Thanks for the advice' thing. So many people have such strong opinions on what I should do with my pregnancy/birth/child. It's overwhelming. Only two-three people are genuinely excited about us doing a home birth. Everyone else looks at me like I have lost my mind, and how dare I put my babys health at risk. Sigh, if only everyone knew they had options on their birth, and can take control of it instead of letting hospitals run the show.

Tyler and I are also not finding out what we are having. We look at this as one of the wonderful surprises that God has for us, so why not just wait. People also think we are crazy. 'How could you do that?', 'How will you plan ANYTHING not knowing what you're having', 'How could you do that to your family, how will they know what to buy!'. I get those comments ALL THE TIME. It's insane. Well to answer them, I just smile and let them know we are doing just fine. We have planned our nursery for gender neutral, and everyone can easily buy things that can accommodate that. We are planning a teal and orange nursery. It's going to be perfect!

So I jogged for over 10 minutes straight and did pull ups at the gym today. My mom and dad were not happy about that, 'Are you sure that's safe?'. Our OBGYN and midwife have both strongly recommended that I continue my workout regimen as long as I'm comfortable. And I felt great doing it. I'm not doing dead lifts anymore, so that something that I have tuned down. We'll see how it goes.

How does it feel knowing I'll be a mom in 6 months. Crazy. That's how it feels. The excitement and pre terror alternate. More excitement though. I know our lives will change so drastically, but I'm okay with that. We are ready for this! Maybe not for all the exhaustion and no sleep thing...but the wonderful blessing of a child. God trusts and loves me so much, he has blessed me with a child in my womb :) I still can't comprehend that.

Thanks to whomever is staying updated with this. And if no one is, I'm okay with that too!

First trimester woes

Well, today I am officially 9 1/2 weeks! I only have two and 1/2 left until I'm in the 'safe zone' of the second trimester. Apparently, I'm supposed to start feeling a lot better and have an energy surge. That would be wonderful!

I had my first official OB appointment with Dr. Ablard on 6/6. She is so wonderful, and almost makes me rethink doing a midwife homebirth. Almost. She did another intravaginal ultrasound to check on our little muggle. AND it was beautiful. I don't think my mind will ever completely wrap around the fact I am seeing our little baby inside my body. It seems simple, but when it happens to you. Wow. Incredible. Baby K is starting to finally look like a baby instead of an alien. It has a very clearly defined head and arms and leg 'buds'. Crazy. It's about the size of a green olive. My due date has only moved up by one day, January 9. Honestly, who knows. It's more of a 'baby could come at this date give or take two weeks-ish'. I'm hoping for after versus before the due date. Unless it's a huge baby.... Tyler and his brother were both nearly 10 lbs. I was only 5lbs. Let's hope it's somewhere in the middle!
We also heard babys' heartbeat. It jumped from 109bpm two weeks ago to 180s! So fast!! We could see the heart beating so super fast, working really hard. Cute.

So we officially told everyone. Tyler feels completely relieved. But me and my panic self just can't let go of the fact that if something happens, we'll have to tell everyone. BUT I can't focus on things that most likely won't happen. Tylers good about reminding me of that.

Here's the picture we used to make it facebook official. I'm so happy with the way it turned out. Everyone who doesn't like harry potter can get over it.

So, preggo side effects: it honestly hasn't been unbearable. I've only throw up once, from my last post. I've had days where I 'could' probably throw up if I tried, but I try to distract myself and it usually goes away. I've had some crazy bouts of dizziness, but those also go away relatively quickly. All in all, I'd say things are going well. The most concerning part for me is the cramps. No one talks about those, and I'm not sure if I've posted already about them. Well...it only makes since that your uterus expands to fit expanding baby. I never thought for some reason you would feel that stretching! And well, you do. Sometimes it feels like period cramps, which is terrifying and makes you think you're having a miscarriage. Sometimes they are sharp little pains on both sides of my pelvic region that extend to my hips. I can always breathe through these, and they don't make me double over. They just make me more 'alert' and in tune with my body is doing. These cramps/stretching happens any time of the day, but mostly after dinner. Right when I'm getting ready to go to sleep. 

Speaking of that, how's sleep going? It's okay. I've gotten out of my 5x/week gym habit, so I don't have that to make me tired. I only worked out 3-ish times last week, and only once was at the gym. I've been foolishly scared I will hurt my baby by working out, but it's actually completely safe and preferred to continue your workout regimen. It's just the 'feeling awful' that gets in the way. Tyler has been really good about going on 2 mile walks with me and the puppies. When it's not 5 million degrees out. Not looking forward to summer. 

So, how's my anxiety going? It comes and goes. Last night was the worst it's been. I haven't had any panic attacks (PRAISE GOD), but I do have times where satan invades my brain and gets me thinking about how awful a mother i'll be, and how i'll suffer from postpartum depression. I can usually just quietly sit and pray for strength and praise God for letting me be a mother. I will typically go away. Well last night it still hadn't gone away at 2am. BUT I did eventually fall asleep thinking about who knows what. 

This is the longest post ever! There's more. So I ate Jims Chicken last night. No. Not ever again. Baby did not like it. I felt nauseated the rest of the night. It was awful. I should've made myself puke. Bleh. On a good note, I'm so obsessed with peaches right now. I eat three a day at least. YUM!!!